


Childhood Troubles

by GrimyLittleTrickster



Series: Bluest Skies [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Depression, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Character Death, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Non-Explicit Sex, Pain, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 09:31:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrimyLittleTrickster/pseuds/GrimyLittleTrickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot can happen in twelve years.</p><p>UPDATE: this story has been discontinued due to my old laptop malfunctioning and deleting the rest of the chapters before I could publish them :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Its Always Summer On Vulcan

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Star Trek, only my OC's. I apologize if its too OOC and I hope you enjoy the read.

 

 

 

“C’mon, T’Lyra. Just say ‘Daddy’, can you say ‘Daddy’?” Leonard begged his daughter as she giggled helplessly and wriggled her body in joy.

“No!” she squealed tossing the spoon in her hand on the floor. He groaned as he gazed at the peach mush on her cheeks from his attempts to feed her. Every little thing he did to put the spoon in her mouth - the airplane and the choo-choo train and everything in between - she would turn away and shout a loud ‘no’.

And so far, that was the only word she spoke. 'No' this and 'no' that. He had tried getting her to say other words like ‘Daddy’ or ‘ _Samekh_ ’ but there was no avail. The only word to ever slip her lips other than her usual gibberish was ‘no’.

He was starting to think she had favorites.

The only person who could get her to eat was Spock. However, the Vulcan was with his father negotiating with ambassadors for three days, leaving the job to Amanda.

 

She had the patience of a saint. She didn’t even furrow her eyebrows and raise her voice when T’Lyra pulled her hair and threw formula at her.

Grabbing the beige bib around her neck attached to the grey cloth that concealed her body, he wiped away the food residue and kissed her tiny hand that had wrapped around his pinky. Quickly, he unwrapped the bib from her neck and kissed her forehead. Fleetingly, McCoy thought he'd give it one more shot.

"Sweet Pea, what about S _amekh_? It’ll make your daddy proud,” he tempted as he picked up the spoon from the stone floor and dropped it into the sink. Her blue eyes bored into his as she clapped and squirmed in her chair.

“Sa-sa!”

He sighed then tossed the cloth onto the table before pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why do I even bother? It's hopeless.” Leaning against the cold counter, he eyed the one and a half year old cooing at her new distraction.

Hands wound their way on his narrow hips and McCoy stiffened before relaxing into the familiar touch of his husband. He leaned into Spock’s hold and smiled. Their bond washed over him with tenderness and brushed away the longing from being apart.

“Urging her to speak when she is not ready is a waste of time, _ashayam_ ,” the Vulcan murmured nuzzling the nape of McCoy’s neck. He shivered as the cool breath skated across his neck giving him an array of goosebumps. Turning around, he raised an eyebrow and placed a palm on his husband's chest.

“Ever heard of the term ‘practice makes perfect?”

Spock nodded and rubbed soothing circles over the protruding hipbones aiming to ease his mate’s frustration. Leonard didn't mind much because his husband was finally home.

“She’s halfway there, Spock. She almost said ‘daddy’,” McCoy said giving him a toothy grin. Spock arched an eyebrow.

“Are you certain you hadn’t misheard for your own benefit?” He visibly deflated.

“Dammit, Spock. Why can’t you let me have one victory?” he frowned and crossed his arms. “Well, it could have been a reaction to the gas she’s been havin’. That pear flavorin’ mush has really been givin’ her a lot of stomachaches.”

McCoy looked up then grinned. He stood up on his toes and pecked his husband’s lips before pulling away and going to their daughter fidgeting in her high chair. “Sa-sa!” she whined with her hands outstretched demanding to be picked up. McCoy pulled her out of the chair and handed her to Spock.

The instant Spock had a hold on his daughter, he melted in her grasp and placed her on his hip bouncing lightly as she tugged on his hair and murmured gibberish only she understood. McCoy could only look at them in adoration. His eyes were half-lidded with a type of fondness that had Spock's heart stuttering. 

“She missed you a lot,” he noted once again leaning on the counter.

“Indeed.”

Even if she was still too young to have any distinguishable features, she still closely resembled her father. She had his jet-black hair and his beautiful pointed ears, not to mention that hard look in her eyes when she didn’t get what she wanted. She could have been his exact duplicate had it not been for those piercing blue eyes. T'Lyra looked perfect wrapped in her father's arms. Her head pressed against the Vulcan's robes obsorbing her father's warmth he radiated and she let out what seemed to be a content sigh.

“How was work with your father? A little birdie told me you had a rather difficult time.”

Spock froze for a millisecond before proceeding to rock T’Lyra in his arms. “Satisfactory,” he answered stiffly. T’Lyra pouted sensing her father’s discomfort and buried her head in the crook of his neck. Her hand pressed against his cheek and she burrowed herself deeply into his body.

McCoy furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. “Spock, what happened?”

“It does not concern you.”

He clenched his jaw and glared at him. Walking to him, he grabbed T’Lyra from his arms and kissed the crown of her head. “Sweet Pea, I need to talk to your _S_ _amekh_.” She fidgeted in his hands and gave him a glare that rivaled McCoy’s own. “It’ll be quick, baby girl. I promise.” He walked to the toy area in their living room and placed her in the play crib with her teddy bear Jim had given them for her birthday.

Surprisingly, she didn’t object.

Looking over his shoulder, McCoy gave Spock a look then approached his stiff lipped husband. He could feel Spock’s hostility through their bond but he could also feel uncertainty coupled with shame. His anger dropped and he pulled Spock’s chin towards him.

“What happened, darlin’? Something important surely, if it got you this winded up. You look tense.”

“I am aware of that, Leonard. Though not much has happened that requires to be discussed.”

The tension is Spock's shoulders amd the cold tone innhis voice said otherwise. “Bullshit,” McCoy spat quietly. He said it lowly enough for only Spock’s ears to hear.  He ran his thumb across the man’s pursed lips and pulled him closer. “Amanda told me you were actin’ more touchy than usual.”

Spock’s head snapped up to look him in the eyes. “You spoke to my mother?” 

 

McCoy rolled his eyes.

"Yes. She was worried ‘bout you after all.”

Spock averted his gaze looking over the man’s shoulder. Sensing his discomfort, McCoy brought his other hand to the Vulcan’s cheek bringing those molten, dark eyes to meet his. He could always read his husband like an open book with how much those eyes expressed.

“Just like I was.”

Spock raised his hand and entwined it with the McCoy’s own. “Now are you ready to tell me what happened?”

Spock held his gaze before glancing at their child playing with her stuffed teddy bear. A moment passed before recognition set in. McCoy’s eyes widened with knowledge and understanding.

“Oh?”

It was separation anxiety. It shouldn’t have surprised him. After what Spock had been like throughout the week before his departure with the ambassadors, he’d been jittery- well, as much as a Vulcan could be. Though it wasn’t the first time he’d acted strangely when T’Lyra wasn’t in his line of sight.

When she had hit one year and Jim took her from McCoy‘s grasp to coo at his little goddaughter, Spock had been fidgety and loomed over whoever had the little Vulcan in their arms. An example of such an incident was one  where he ripped T’Lyra from an unfortunate soul’s hands from holding his child a few minutes too long. They chose never to speak of it.

“You know you don’t have to leave our baby girl so soon. Your father’s still young and he can handle diplomacy alone.”

“No. I must not grow too attached when I have other duties to proceed with.”

McCoy shook his head. “Darlin’, she is a year and a half months old. And don’t you dare correct me,” he raised a finger as Spock’s mouth opened to give him the exact time. Resigned, he closed his mouth and waited for his mate to continue.

“She needs her daddies just as much as you need her.”

Clasping McCoy’s hand, Spock pulled it from his face and slipped his fingers through the open slots. He felt the affection drift through their touch sending miniscule shivers down his spine. Sensations of love enveloped him with laces of adoration and it soothed his rampant doubts. No matter how long they’ve known each other, his mate never failed to bring him ease.

McCoy smirked and tugged Spock’s hand. He led him to the edge of the crib and looked over at their daughter. She had fallen asleep cuddling her bear with her black hair sprawled everywhere. McCoy bumped his husband’s shoulders and smiled widely.

“After all, we have a whole lifetime. She‘s gonna need us through all those childhood troubles.”

 


	2. Comforts of Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, T'Lyra need a little reassurance upon news of a new family member.

 

 

“Looks like Daddy’s fawnin’ over Mr. Spock again,” Joanna remarked tilting her head casually observing her father loom over the Vulcan sitting on the couch. She bounced the kid on her knees as T’Lyra fidgeted and stuck her hand in Joanna's ponytail and tugged giggling at the southern side-eye she recieved from her elder.

"Behave," Joanna hissed lightly poking T'Lyra in her tickle spots earning a shriek and littany of laughs.

She giggled as Spock pushed the hovering hands carrying a tricorder away from his body with his eyebrow hitched high and his mouth flattened to a straight line. He let out a huff of breath through his nostrils and laid back against the cushions as the hands returned ducking a weaving themselves into his view. Resigned, Spock gently placed a palm onto the small swell of his belly as the hands quickly turned into sun-kissed blurs.

“Leonard, I am fine,” Spock stated calmly but was met with a dangerous raise of an eyebrow and a deep frown.

“Spock, you’ve been in bed rest for almost two weeks now and you feel dizzy every time you take one step,” McCoy said proudly wielding the tricorder in his hand, “and I reckon that’s a sign of something going on. Whether it’s good or bad I’ll be the judge of that.”

At the sound of the muffled laughter, McCoy turned to his smiling daughters and grinned. “Jo-Jo, why don’t you take T’Lyra outside for a little bit while I check up on Spock? She’s getting’ anxious bein’ inside all day.”

“I want to go outside,” T’Lyra demanded squirming from her sister’s arms. “C’mon Joanna, father even said so,” she tugged on her sister’s sleeve in an attempt to guide the elder to the front doors of the house.

“Alright, alright,” Joanna smiled raising her hands up and pushing herself off the chair. “I guess we’ll go outside.”

“Y’all be careful now, you hear? Don’t stray too far and holler if you need anything!”

Joanna ducked out of the door with T’Lyra by her leg but not before yelling out a “we’ll be fine,” towards his way. With a creak, the door closed shut and there was silence.

McCoy looked back at the drained Vulcan quietly falling asleep on the cushions from exhaustion and a smile graced his features. Leaning down, he pecked Spock’s forehead and one to the stomach being swallowed up by the Vulcan’s robes before leaving the room to retrieve a thin blanket.

“Joanna?”

Joanna glanced down at her step-sister as they crossed the stone pathway leading to their front gate, rusted from multiple sandstorms and usage. T’Lyra fisted the jean pant leg and looked down to her feet as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

Sensing discomfort, Joanna placed her hand on T’Lyra’s head and pulled her closer. Instantly, she curled against her sister’s touch and visibly lightened. Though Joanna knew her indulgence in touch wouldn’t last long, soon, T’Lyra would grow out of it and stray away from the hugs and hand holding. So, she enjoyed the little moments.

“Yeah, sweet pea, what’s the matter?”

T’Lyra stayed silent for a few moments before looking up and furrowing her eyebrows. Her hand loosened its hold on her jeans and dropped to her side. “Do you think that when the child comes, father and samehk will forget about me?” Her voice was so quiet, Joanna wouldn’t have heard her if it wasn’t within earshot.

Joanna frowned. Why would she think that? Of course her father and Spock wouldn‘t forget about her. But a simple statement like that wouldn‘t convince the Vulcan child. Not when she was at the age where she‘d be asking a hundred questions a minute especially a when it was a Vulcan who wanted solid concrete evidence to prove her hypothesis wrong. Joanna internally cringed. She was starting to sound like Spock. Silently, she pulled on the gate handle and with a satisfying clang, it opened up.

“Now where would you get that silly idea?” she asked holding the gate open for T’Lyra to pass through.

T’Lyra huffed in a petulant manner as she walked through. “It is not ‘silly’, it is entirely," T'Lyra paused as if looking for the right word, "plausible."

“Plausible eh? Big word for such a small girl,” Joanna teased, "where'd you get such a big vocabulary?"

“I am being prepared by Samekh for when I finally enter school,” she swiftly avoided the commentary about her stature. She placed her hands behind her back and stood up straighter; no longer clinging to her elder sister, she turned her head and raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“You’re two. You don't get into school until you're four or five.”

“One must always be ready and I am not simply 'two'. I am two years, one month, five days, 13 minutes-”

“Enough with the extreme accuracy, you’re gonna give me a headache.”

T‘Lyra pursed her lips, “you didn’t answer the question.”

“Neither have you.”

“I had asked you first,” she countered quickly looking away causing her black braids to swing against her back, "and, therefore, you should answer me."  Joanna rolled her eyes. For being so young, she could be so dramatic.

“Fine,” Joanna said looking away from the determined blue eyes and gazed at the bright sunny sky. A moment of silence passed and still neither of them spoke. Joanna watched as the sun began to go down causing a light ray of purple and pink hues to wash the bright sky from its bright orange glory.

Licking her dry lips, she began to speak. “What made you think that would happen? Daddy and Spock wouldn’t dare forget about you. Even if we do get another baby and they pay more attention to the little runt, we’re still gonna be their little girls.”

“But you’re not little. You're tall.”

“You aren’t either, but that don’t stop daddy from calling me his little princess or you his sweet pea.”

Joanna smiled when the Vulcan’s hand found its way on her pant leg and wound the cloth in her fist. “I suppose you are right,” T’Lyra sniffled and rubbed the drowsiness from her eyes. “May I ask you another question?”

“Shoot.” T’Lyra merely blinked at the human figure of speech.

“Do you ever feel excluded from the rest of the family? You can only see us 2.7 months out of the year and that is if Father and Samekh can't visit earth.”

Joanna paused to think. Biting her lips she pushed the stray blond hairs from her face and grimaced when her cheeks and forehead were coated in a light sheen of sweat. The sun's harsh rays beat down against their backs before cooling the sweat against their backs. 

“To be honest, sometimes I do feel let out. I always see you growin’ older with each visit and I’m not around for most of the time. Only when my momma allows it. But I don’t let it bother me. .”

“I don't mean for you to have these emotions.”

Joanna shook her head and stopped abruptly to kneel down to T’Lyra’s height. She pulled the Vulcan in front of her and placed her hands on either side of her waist. T’Lyra looked down and stared at the dusty floor avoiding Joanna’s gaze.

“Sweet pea,” T’Lyra looked up but did not lift her head.

“Look at me, darlin’, right now.”

T’Lyra obeyed and peered up but with a firm pout. One she was most likely not aware that she was doing. Joanna’s eyes softened and she let a small grin touch her lips. “You do not make me feel this way. Not you, not Spock, and not even my daddy. I feel this way because I’m gonna miss some big parts in your life but that don’t mean I’m gonna miss them all.” Joanna leaned forward and pressed a small kiss on the crown of T’Lyra’s head. She pulled her in close and wrapped her hands around the tiny midsection. After a moment, T’Lyra returned the hug and buried her head into the crook of her sister’s neck.

"Are you positive you're okay?"

Joanna smiled and rubbed circles into T'Lyra's back feeling the scratchy cloth of her thin dress. "I'm fine. I promise."

They let go of one another after a few minutes. Joanna ran a hand through the wavy blond curls of her hair and sighed. “C’mon, it’s startin’ to get dark, let’s go home.”

“Okay,” T’Lyra responded meekly as she reluctantly pulled away from the comforting hold. Joanna began to stand up until she was tugged back down by the sleeve of her shirt. From the amount of force and the unexpected hold, she fell onto her bottom with an oomph. Glaring, she wiped away the dust that had managed to fall into her eyes. _What good are these dang eyelashes if they can't keep anything out of your eye?_ she thought tersely.

“Wait!”

“What?” she spat then cringed when T'Lyra winced from her tone of voice. "Sorry, darlin', what is it?"

“I would like a piggyback ride.”

“A piggyback ride?” she couldn't keep the teasing tone from her voice. No matter how much she wanted to prove her Vulcan heritage, she would still undulge on the small human faculties. Crossing her arms and smirking at the coy Vulcan, Joanna crossed her legs and leaned forward placing her elbows on her knees. T’Lyra blushed a light green and avoided the elder’s blue piercing eyes.

“I thought you didn’t like piggyback rides since they were, as you say, _illogical_?”

“…I was mistaken.”

“And?”

“And I am tired.”

“Ah,” Joanna wagged a finger. “You just want a place to lie on since you’re sleepy.”

“I do not require sleep at this time,” T’Lyra responded haughtily. She paused and let out a sigh. “Though I must admit I am feeling a little…drowsy.”

Shaking her head, Joanna turned around and lifted herself to her knees waiting for the familiar curves of her step-sister so she could stand up and carry them back home. With a heave, she hoisted the young one on her back and locked her legs in place beside her hips as she tried not to gag on the arms pressing a little too tightly against her jugular. She resisted the urge to sigh when T'Lyra squirmed and wriggled in many directions to find purchase. Soon, the hold on her neck ceased and Joanna could breathe properly.

"You ready?"

T'Lyra nodded and murmured a quick yes.

Joanna looked up at the sky and felt the last moments of warmth linger as the stars gleamed up in the Vulcan sky. She could see so much more stars out here than she could on earth. For 12 years old, even she could appreciate the fine beauty of the luminous starry night. Feeling the young one burrow her head into Joanna's blond delicate curls and purr like a kitten, she smiled widely and turned around to walk back.

"Next stop: home."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a month! I sort of lost my muse for a bit but now I'm back and pumpin out more chapters than before. I apologize if the ending seems rushed, I barely wrote the chapter about 2 hours ago. And if there is any mistakes, please inform me. Thank you!


	3. Back to the Start pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They'll understand that beneath their unfeeling exterior is a heart that is slowly breaking silently and in more pain than any of us could possibly understand. Because that's what it is to be a Vulcan."  
> -Kelis the Poet

Spock is about 8 months along and his pregnancy had been going fairly well. Better than well in fact: it was going smoothly and satisfactory. He loved looking down at the swell of his stomach taking in the stretch of his skin accommodating the unborn child’s body and the light green spreading over his outward navel. He adored feeling the bond between them collect itself and the kisses pressed upon his skin by his equally awed mate. He cherished the touches between himself and his mate due to the increase of hormones inflating his desire to be ravished by the delightful surgeon hands. Life on Vulcan with his daughter and husband had been going well.

Then Spock woke up bleeding noticing a distinct absence in his familial bond.

*

He can distinctly remember what happened: the feeling of thick liquid sliding down his legs soaking the mattress in dark green; the urgency in his voice as he woke up his slumbering mate before pushing down the feeling of terror; the emotions pressing at his brain, a child’s voice saying “Samekh, what’s happening? I’m scared"; the pain shooting through his abdomen allowing small hisses escape his lips.

Spock remembered everything. Their sped fast pace to the hospital. The overwhelming desperation and sadness boiled within the depths of Leonard’s eyes as the Vulcan medical associates bestowed him with words that pierced through his soul like a dull knife. T’Lyra holding onto her father’s leg not understanding what was happening or why her Samekh was emitting strong emotions or why the doctors were making her parents cry ( _Tears?_ Spock touched his cheek and felt wetness as he looked into his mate’s glassy eyes.)

The doctor’s emotionless words seemed inaudible as their lips moved. His ears caught each word.

Stillborn.

No identifiable cause.

No heartbeat.

No bond.

He can hear the hitch in Leonard’s breath before a choked sob escapes his lips and Spock cannot bear to look. He stares down at his hands as the doctor’s continue rattling off information and his heart clenches as if someone had grabbed it from his chest cavity and squeezed.

They leave the room quietly with the exception of Spock lying on the hospital bed. He can see his mate’s feet walk sluggishly out the room to explain to their daughter their situation in which she can understand. A moment later, he hears her cry from behind the crisp white doors. And when the bawling stops, he lets himself release his emotions burying his face in his hands and letting the anguish he’d hidden reveal itself through shuddering breaths and heavy, wet, heaves.

*

Spock comes home after a week. He endures the pitying looks given to him by members of the crew as they came to Vulcan to provide support. He withstands the aching loneliness when he looked for comfort by touching his flat stomach only to remember what he had lost. But he can only stand so much when every time Leonard lies eyes upon him, agony trickled through their bond.

Illogical as it was, Spock truly believed it was his own fault.

After being looked over in the hospital and being treated as if made of porcelain, he finally understood the human idiom ‘stir-crazy.’

*

Tavek Clyde McCoy is buried on a hot, windy day a week after Spock’s hospital leave. The visiting Vulcans whom Leonard has worked with at the hospital share their thoughts of grief noticeably evading the group tearful humans (Nyota, Pavel, Hikaru, and Scotty) expressing their thought of “I thought I was gonna be an uncle again” and “I can’t imagine what Spock and Leonard are feeling.”

Jim is not one of them. He is still traveling through space aboard his second Enterprise promising to visit before the year ended.

Spock does not know what to make of that.

When they come home to their small stone house covered in spirals of metal and soft cloth curtains, Leonard can’t bring himself to look at Spock. Instead he sets up ~~his~~ their bed after obtaining T’Lyra from Amanda and tucking her in when they had dropped her off to go to the funeral.

They go to bed with backs facing each other and a noticeable gap between them.

Leonard pretends not to notice the shallow breaths and the muffled cries coming from the other side of the mattress.

*

When people stop coming over, Spock stops getting out of bed. Now that its just the three of them, Spock no longer pretends to cope. He lies in bed all day staring at the ceiling wondering where it all went wrong. He attempts to pinpoint the exact moment he felt the bond disappear and dwells in the possibility that he could have prevented this. He often dreams that his son hadn’t died inside him and that if he closes his eyes, he could see Leonard holding their son with a wide smile revealing dimples as T’Lyra giggles and cranes her head to gaze upon her little brother.

But a dream is just a dream.

 *

It is weeks before Spock lets anyone touch him again. He lies on the bed gazing at the thin body veiled in an almost weightless cloth only a few inches away and he extends a hand pressing fingers to the pulse point of Leonard's wrist. He can feel the pain and worry thrum underneath his fingertips grazing lightly against their bond. Hearing the hitch of his mate's breath, he knows how long it has been since they've touched. Since they've truly been together.

When Leonard reaches over and entwines their fingers loosely, Spock cannot help but recoil. _Too soon_ his mind whispers as he watches the doctor slink back onto his side of the bed. _Far too soon._

Spock doesn't invite Leonard to his side of the bed for a number of weeks.

*

It is months before T'Lyra is alone with her Samekh. After being accompanied by her human father constantly, she is finally able to see Samekh alone when her father goes to the hospital for work. She sits on the corner of his bed watching him with uncertain blue eyes. Quickly looking down at her fingers, she gathers courage and slips off her shoes before putting her feet on the bed. Slowly, she crawls next to him and lies on her side careful to keep a good amount of distance between them. Her father had said Samekh didn't want to be touched much anymore but her curiousity and concern got the better of her. "Sa-sa?" she whispers inching closer.

He merely turns his head to her and opens his arms. At an instant, she plows into his warm body burrowing her face into his shoulder. She relaxes when his hands wound around her waist and pull her in tighter. She sniffles and shuts her eyes as his hand brushes away bits of her hair from her face and curls it behind her ear. The emotions pouring into their bond cause her body to shake in quiet cries. She clutches at him for purchase and finally feels stable when his hand rubs her back in soothing circles.

"I love you, Samekh," T'Lyra whispers shakily into his neck.

"I know."

*

A few weeks of this, Spock feels likes he's drowning. Silently suffocating from each powerful wave of misery defenseless, only able to watch as his world slowly falls apart and begins to collect once again.

*

One day, Leonard wakes up on his bed terrified that he hadn't woken up. It is near noon and he has not hear a sound; not a peep from T'Lyra or Spock. When he speeds down the halls into the living room, his resolve softens when he catches Spock holding T'Lyra on his hip showing her the variety of holos on shelves. Each one are gifts from the crew and each one are different. A holo of a pair of whales on one side, a holo of Joanna at her thirteenth birthday on the other.

Leonard can't help but smile as he crosses his arms and leans against the doorway.

T'Lyra sees him first and she waves enthusiastically. "Hi, father!" Spock turns swiftly and quirks an eyebrow.

"Hello, Leonard."

"Hey," he sighs wondering when did his name begin to sound so wonderful when spilled from those bowed green lips.

*

One night, Leonard crawls into bed getting prepared to sleep on his side. He can see the broad outline of Spock’s backside the stars provide and a thought occurs to him. A minute later, his hand manages to reach out and brush the pads of his fingers along Spock’s arm.

“You should come over here,” Leonard says sending little bouts of affection through their link. He is mildly surprised when Spock answers back with a tentative touch of his own.

“I love you,” the words tumble out of his mouth, “I love you so much.”

Before he is aware of it, Spock crawls onto the other side of the bed burying his face into McCoy’s shoulder reaching to entwine their hands. Their bond flares to life and McCoy can’t help releasing a choking sob and relieved sigh.

He’s missed this. He’s missed touching his husband and feeling Spock in his mind. He hadn’t realized how alone they felt until now.

“I’m sorry, darlin’” he breathes tangling his fingers with Spock’s. "I'm sorry I've left you so alone."

He doesn't answer. Simply, he presses himself deeper into the body of his mate and closes his eyes enjoying the sensation of intimacy he has not felt since their son's death. “I have missed you as well,” Spock says quietly into Leonard’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tavek: unobtainable mountain raptor  
> Quite a fitting name don't you think?

**Author's Note:**

> Samekh- Father  
> Ashayam- Beloved
> 
> T'Lyra: Lady of the Lirpa (a traditional Vulcan weapon).
> 
> Sevek: Total Prosperity.
> 
> If there are any spelling mistakes or if some of the words do not make sense, please tell me. Thank you!


End file.
